


Don't lie to your sister

by ClarkeRipley



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-26 21:50:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12067659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClarkeRipley/pseuds/ClarkeRipley
Summary: Lena Luthor is about to have a nervous breakdown and it's all Alex's fault





	1. Chapter 1

Lena Luthor was not kidding when she said that she never had a friend like Kara Danvers. Sure during her life Lena had plenty of friends some of which were casual and turned out to be horrible people like Roulette, some of which just drifted apart and some of them turned out to be wonderful and noble people like Jack but the friendships she had made were always due to circumstances .Being at the same school, living in the same social circle, working in the same field.....her friendships were side effects, something that just happened. Nobody had ever actually tried to pursue friendship with her just because they liked her and enjoyed her company

Of course at first she thought that Kara had been interested in pursuing a friendship for personal gain, getting higher on the journalistic ladder and Lena had been utterly shocked to find that this wasn’t the case. She had been low key testing her when she dropped some personal information about herself. As she suspected Kara didn’t reveal anything but then again no experienced con man would out herself so quickly. So Lena kept accidentally dropping more and more information even some that could truly hurt her and observing in an almost horrified fascination as she casually passed up opportunities that could raise her to incredible heights and riches. The only time Kara was ever interested in using any of the information Lena had provided was when she casually mentioned about some horrific environmental violations one of her competitors was committing. Kara had been alarmed and had personally and very nervously asked Lena if she could use this information to expose this injustice. Then she proceeded to ask, call, text and email no less then twenty six times whether it was truly ok to use this info.

It had been incredible but Lena had truly come to believe that Kara was truly only interested in her friendship and genuinely cared for her. She didn’t really know how to handle this. All her friendships before had revolved around something. With Veronica it had been about casual sex, with Jack it had been about scientific curiosity, with most of her other friends it had been about sharing the social burden of being rich and under constant scrutiny and pressure. But with Kara? Literally the only thing they had in common was their appreciation and affection for each other. So Lena was baffled as to how to handle this friendship. She tried taking Kara to the most expensive restaurants but this just seemed to make her miserable(although she tried her best to hide it) as she vastly preferred to stuff herself full of burgers and pizza then small portions of food that cost more then her weekly salary. 

She tried taking her to high lass parties where she could network with some of the most influential people in the world. Instead of trying to make connections Kara spent most of these evenings following Lena awkwardly or hiding in some corner with a well stocked dish watching cat videos on her phone. It was only later that she understood that while Kara could be absolutely vicious when pursuing a story she would never risk ruining Lena’s party by using it for her job

And so Lena found herself…just kind of going with the flow. It was an uncharted territory and she had no real frame of reference on how to maintain such a friendship but still it not only seemed to work but it was thriving. The CEO was not ashamed to admit that her relationship with Kara was one of the few truly bright spots in her life recently. And while Kara’s steadfast and selfless support had surprised Lena a lot it had nothing on this moment

“Oh I nearly forgot” said Kara smacking herself on the head and laughing in her cute way” I got you a little something”

Kara quickly retrieved her purse and pulled out a beautifully wrapped gift handing it to Lena with a flourish. She slowly started unwrapping it not willing to rip through he beautiful decoration. This seemed to annoy Kara who was pouting and Lena could see her mouthing “just rip it” in impatience

“Here let me “said a giddy Kara as she quickly unwrapped with the expertise of a pro assistant. It revealed an elegant black box with a heart shaped symbol on it” As soon as I saw it I thought of you. You seem really stressed lately so I thought it could help you relax”

Lena opened the box curious as to what it could be. As soon as she saw the contents her smile froze

“I read that stress can cause some serious problem especially for people who are overworking themselves like you” said Kara pointedly” and while I am sure you have professionals to take care of you I thought this could help

A slightly stunned Lena was still processing what was in the box when her frazzled brain managed to catch some of Kara

“I…I don’t” rasped Lena as she barely found her voice”…I don’t have professionals”

“Oh that’s a shame. They really seemed to help Miss Grant. Do you want me to get you in contact with some of them?” asked a curious

“N…o….?” Lena barely managed to string the word together as she didn’t seem to understand what the hell was going on

“Oh I understand. You don’t like it when strangers invade your personal space” said Kara wisely

“Eh…yes…no…I guess” stammered Lena

“The maybe I can help” said an excited Kara

“You!?” squeaked (and she was absolutely not proud of that sound) Lena

“Oh yes! I have been watching instruction videos and my fingers have always been very talented” beamed Kara

Lena was pretty sure she was having a minor panic attack at this point and nearly sighed in relief when Jess announced that her five o’clock meeting was about to start soon

“Oh look at where the time went” exclaimed Kara” Sorry to keep you so long. I will see you Saturday right? And don’t forget my offer. My fingers are always at your disposal “

And then with a quick hug Kara left leaving a stunned Lena behind

“Jess cancel all my appointments for today” said Lena before turning off the intercom and her phone. She knew that she was in no state to handle any business or even talk to people. It took her almost five minutes until she could bring herself to open the box again. And there it was. It was strange how such a small thing could change your entire day

“What the fuck?!??” exclaimed Lena emphatically as she couldn’t help but stare at the elegant silver vibrator

 

Kara was nearly floating when she left Lena’s office. Their lunches made her feel so good but also concerned. Her friend seemed even more stressed then usual. She hoped that her new handheld massager would help her relax. She didn’t even know that things like this existed before accidentally stumbling on Alex’s. Funnily enough Alex seemed to stammer the same way Lena did when she was explaining her to about the massager. In any case she hoped that Lena would let her help. Ever since she found that Alex had liked massages Kara had been taking an online course hoping to surprise her sister. How wonderful would it be if she could help her friend as well!

She just hoped that Lena liked it. Kara had bought the most expensive one she could find. The Lady’s Delight. It was hailed as the best “handheld massager” in the world(someone had put the hand massager in quotes for some reason, she guessed a bad editor) and Lena deserved nothing but the best

“Oh” she thought nearly smacking herself on the head again. She should have asked Alex. She would have known if it truly was the best. Oh well she could still do it. And she was pretty sure she spotted a hand massager at Maggie’s as well so would probably know too. Good thing they were all having dinner tonight


	2. It gets worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is only so much Lena can take..........

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of people seemed keen on a second chapter so while I am working on it I thought I would post a little mid chapter where things get even worse for poor Lena. Enjoy ;)

Kara Danvers stretched like a happy cat before floating into her bed. She was a bit bummed that Alex and Maggie had canceled on dinner tonight but they did invite her to breakfast tomorrow and then she could ask her important Lena question. Her mood had vastly improved when J’onn had informed her that the city was quiet and she could have the night off. It was rare that she got a night just for herself. She was tempted to call Lena for a girl’s night but she seemed to be in need of a rest. She didn’t seem like her normal composed self today. All this zoning out and stammering must mean that her friend was even more overworked then usual

 

Putting on the Last Airbender movie she tucked in her snacks close to herself and had a sip of some delicious tea. Tonight was going to be a good night. Less then ten minutes later Kara was highly disappointed. She had been introduced to the Avatar series just a month ago by Winn and had loved it. She binged the entire series and was looking forward to the live action movie before starting Legend of Korra. To say that she was disappointed with the movie would be an understatement. It was practically painful to watch it but still she persisted. She was no quitter…still she could watch it while playing with her phone.

 

Less then a minute later she jumped on her bed in excitement spilling tea all over herself. If she had been human this would have meant a trip to the hospital with some serious burns but she barely even felt the scalding liquid and all she got was a soaked t-shirt. But right now she didn’t care. She got Katara on her buzzfeed quiz! Yes! While keeping an eye out the movie to make sure that it was still just as bad as before she quickly poured herself another cup of tea and quickly got back into bed. She was pretty sure she was forgetting something but she didn’t care. She was still on a high from getting Katara and before she could try and remember she saw another interesting article. “Ten tips to help cheer up a friend!”

 

She quickly read through he article and was delighted to find out that she was already doing most of these things with Lena but there was one thing she was missing. Number 8. Send a good night selfie to your friend to remind them that you are thinking of them. An excited Kara quickly type a short message and took a quick selfie. But just as she was taking her picture she noticed that movie was finally approaching the finale. Seriously!? That was it? Raising one large wave for a few second?Ugh. Awful. She was so distracted by her outrage at the movie that she was quite surprised when she heard the beep from her phone. Only 1%. She quickly scrambled to send the selfie not even bothering to actually look at it. It’s not like it mattered if she took a bad picture. She and Lena were friends and would never criticize each others looks

 

Plugging her phone and cleaning her bed from the leftovers of her nightly snack she drifted off in a content sleep

 

 

 

Lena Luthor was on her twelfth strong coffee and she was pretty sure she was going to ascend to another dimension with the sheer amount of caffeine in her blood but she needed it. It was the only thing that managed to even remotely focus her mind. It’s been twelve hours since Kara’s gift and Lena’s head hadn’t stopped spinning since then

 

She just didn’t know what to do. It was not everyday that your best friend gave you a vibrator and casually propositioned you. On one hand she was flattered that Kara felt so close to her that she was willing to open up about her sexual side. On the other hand holy shit what the hell? Lena was as sex positive as the next person. Hell she had a friend with benefits relationship with Roulette in boarding school. That was adventurous and open minded right? But it was far far from gifting vibrators, hiring escorts or just casually having sex with your friend. How do you handle this? Lena had no idea but she was a scientist so knowing that she would be useless at the office she had left almost immediately and has spent almost every single moment since then researching how to behave with sexually adventurous people. She learned a lot of things. Some were things that that could not be unseen and which made her doubt if humanity deserved to survive as a species, others were weird and some actually seemed quite cute even though they involved a lot more genitalia that Lena was comfortable with it

 

By the end of the truly exhausting research Lena had realized that it didn’t really matter what Kara was into. Well it did matter and Lena was desperate to know. Why did Kara’s clothes always seem a bit too bulky around her body? Was she wearing a sexy outfit underneath? Why were here clothes on a rack in the middle of the living room? Had she turned her closet into a sex dungeon? When Kara had mentioned that all of her friend had crushes on her did this mean that she in a sexual relationship with all of them? Shutting down those thoughts as hard as she could she went back to her initial musings. In the grand scheme of things it didn’t really matter what Kara was into. The only thing it matter was the answer to one question

 

Did Lena want to have sex with Kara? Ok so the answer to this was obvious. Kara was ridiculously attractive. No the real answer was whether she was willing to risk her friendship with Kara over simple sex. Again the answer to this was obvious. She would never lose Kara’s friendship. She stuck by her side even when she was framed by her mother. She had no doubt that Kara would stick by her even if an intimate relationship went wrong. Hell considering how casual Kara seemed to be about sex this probably wouldn’t even faze her. So she guessed that the true question was whether Lena was willing to risk emotional pain for the chance to have some form of physical relationship with Kara

 

And the answer to this….well it was complicated. Lena had been hurt a lot in her life especially recently and she didn’t know just how much more pain she could take before she breaks. Kara’s friendship had been like a healing balm. If this turned into another source of pain she didn’t know if she could handle it. But deep within her was the desire for happiness as well and both her heart and her mind were telling her that sleeping with Kara would make her very happy

 

As she was agonizing over her choice her brain supplied a third option

 

“What if it was all a mistake?” whispered Lena to herself “A simple misunderstanding?”

 

Lena glanced at the vibrator. It was very shiny and elegant. Lena supposed that someone innocent enough could simply mistake it for some work of art. Maybe Lena had misunderstood the whole conversation. It wouldn’t be the first time Kara had said some weird stuff

 

It was at this moment that she received the message from Kara

  
_“Thinking of you . I hope you are putting my gift to good use xoxo”_

 

This was combined with a picture that utterly stole Lena’s breath. It was Kara wearing a white and very tight t-shirt which just happened to be wet and clinging to Kara’s like a second skin showing virtually everything.  For a woman coming down from one hell of a caffeine high this was too much. Lena Luthor passed out the floor with the image of Kara’s ridiculously perfect body burned into her consciousness forever

 


	3. It's an alien thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Maggie has a lot of fun, Lena is awkward as hell and Alex just wants this horrible day to end

Kara woke up in an unpleasant way as her shirt was not only stuck to her body but was very sticky as well. She vaguely recalled spilling some tea on herself last night. Tugging at her sticky shirt she wondered if maybe Alex was right that maybe it was not a great idea to take her tea with eleven spoons of sugar

Quickly stepping into the shower she sighed in pleasure as she was finally rid of the stickiness on her body. The warmth of the shower made her think of Lena. Tonight was their weekly dinner and Kara was wondering what she should bring. Her experiments with wine hadn’t turned out well (Lena still drank her eight dollar wine but she looked like she was dying) Her attempts to cook something also didn’t meet with much success(Lena still ate her cookies but she nearly choked on them four times). Maybe she could just buy something ready from the grocery stores? Or maybe just stick with flowers. She could do a quick fly to Mexico to pick some fresh plumerias. Hmm should she do it before or after breakfast with Alex? She weighed the pros and cons of this choice. Doing it now was preferable because she never knew when one of those whole afternoon emergencies might appear. But doing it later on would mean that the flowers would be fresher and smell better for Lena. Ugh such an impossible choice

Quickly checking her phone she noticed the picture she had sent Lena last night. How embarrassing. She looked like a mess and her shirt was all wet and wrinkly. Good thing she had sent it to a good friend like Lena who would never judge her on her looks. If Miss Grant had seen this she would have probably criticized her extensively on how she presented herself

 

 

Lena Luthor woke up in agony as every part of her body seemed to hurt. Oh god she hadn’t slept on the floor since working late nights with Jack but she remembered the experience all too well. Trying to get up with her neck, back and most of her joints screaming in discomfort her sleepy eyes suddenly opened in panic as we saw that a hideous alien had snuck into her apartment. It had a wild mane, deep sunken eyes and there was drool on it’s red mouth. Desperately trying to scramble away and reach her tazer she to noticed the alien moving back as well…..oh….this was a mirror and she really needed a shower and a comb

Trying to fight through the agony of being alive at five am she reached for her phone to see if her memory wasn’t playing tricks on her only to drop it just as quickly when she saw the picture again

“Nope. Not in any condition to deal with this right now” she said as she dragged herself to the bathroom and quickly got into her massive bathtub which was more along the size of a small swimming pool. Quickly inputting some commands her bathtub began fill rapidly and massage her whole body. She groaned as her stiff body began to relax. On one hand it felt wonderful on the other there were no more distractions from the question that has been haunting her from last night. The fact that her brain kept conjuring images of Kara sharing the bathtub really didn’t help. She knew that she didn’t have a lot of time to consider her options. Tonight was their dinner night. Should she accept Kara’s advances or not? There was so much to win and yet so much to lose. What an impossible choice.

Oh who was she kidding. She knew it was not a choice. Ever since she found out that Kara had been…open to such a thing she couldn’t stop thinking about it. Lena knew herself well enough that such obsessive thoughts found their way out sooner or later. Even if she tried keeping it friendly right now maybe in a week or two it will all come spilling out and she would try kissing Kara. And then she would probably really ruin their friendship. At least now she actually had some measure in control even if she did feel awkward and insecure as hell  
Still she knew one way to get over these feelings. The way Lionel thought her to live. Always be prepared. So reaching for her tablet she began to prepare. She started making her detailed plan for the evening. She may not be a player like Kara but Lena Luthor could achieve anything she put her mind to. And tonight she was going to give Kara the sexiest night of life

Kara took a whiff of the fresh croissants she was holding. She was extremely proud of herself. She had found a solution to her flower problem. She had picked the flowers early and had put them in a stasis field in the Fortress of Solitude. This way she managed to get the flowers early on and make sure that they would be fresh by the time she gave them to Lena. And if this wasn’t wonderful enough she managed to find an extremely rare strain of Plumerias that she was sure Lena would love. Shooting her a quick text to confirm their dinner tonight Kara put her phone back in her purse with a smile as she concentrated on the wonderful smell coming from her paper bag. On the way back from the Fortress she had gone through Paris and had picked up some delicious goodness. She bet Alex and Maggie would love it

“Hey Little Danvers” smiled Maggie as she answered the door “what did you bring us? This smells amazing”

“ Fresh croissants from Paris. There is this wonderful bakery near Notre-Dame that makes heavenly croissants” answer a giddy Kara. She already had six on the way here but she couldn’t wait to sink her teeth into a few more delicious bits of heaven

“Damn if this taste half as good as it smells it’s going to ruin normal food for me” joked Maggie as she invited Kara in

Kara and Maggie chatted lightheartedly as they helped set up the table while they waited for Alex to finish with her shower. Their relationship had progressed a lot in the last few weeks. Kara would always hold a slight grudge against Maggie for the way she hurt Alex and to a lesser degree for arresting Lena without proper evidence but she had gotten more and more comfortable with the detective in these last few months to the point where she considered her a friend now

“Are those the croissants from heaven that I smell?” said Alex entering from the bathroom, with still slightly damp hair” Have I mentioned how much I love my sister lately?

“You could mention it more often” joked Kara back

Soon they settled in comfortable conversation most of which was centered around Maggie insisting that they should move to France immediately after she got a taste of the croissants. As they were just about to finish Kara remembered that she had a very important issue to bring up

“Oh by the way Alex I was wondering if I could ask your advice” said Kara as she savored the last crumbs of the delicious treat

“Sure Kara. Anything you need” answered Alex with a smile. She was always eager to help her sister

“I was wondering if you can help with some advice on massagers” continued Kara

“With what?” asked a dumbfounded Alex. She and couldn’t understand why on Earth Kara would ask her about something like this. She hated massages. Lying helpless on your stomach where some creep could easily snap your neck? Not on her watch

“You know the handheld massager you talked to me about” seeing Alex continuing to look confused Kara said ”I think I saw one here as well. Just wait a second and I will show you”

Raising her glasses for a quick scan of the apartment Kara quickly found the object in question and with a quick burst of super speed she brought it back to the table. There was a moment of silence as Alex stared horrified at the object in Kara’s hand before she exploded from her chair and grabbed it

“Oh god don’t touch this” said Alex in horror as she was very well aware where the item in question had been

“Why?” asked a confused Kara

“Did you say massager?” asked Maggie her eyes widening in delight as she saw what was about to unfold

“Why would you want to know about THAT?” countered Alex as she ignored both of their questions

“Well Lena has been very stressed lately and I thought that a nice massage would….”

“YOU CAN’T GIVE HER A VI…MASSAGER” Alex’s voice unwittingly rose higher to the point where she was almost screaming 

“Oh I already gave her a massager I was just wondering if you could tell me whether it was good or not. I forgot to ask earlier and….” Kara was interrupted by the sound of Maggie’s chair falling on the floor with the Detective who seem to be laughing so hard she almost looked like she was having a seizure

“You….you…gave her…..haha…oh god…you” said a wheezing Maggie who could barely breathe

Alex face had gone white with horror as she just knew that their mother would blame her for this.

“Yes” said a hesitant Kara” Why? Was it wrong?”

“Please…haha…please tell me what she said….” continued Maggie as she unsuccessfully tried to get up from the floor

“Kara…” Alex took a deep breath knowing she had to face her problems face on….well for now. She was totally turning off her phone before Eliza could do an imitation of a Howler through it” this is a…..vibrator”

“Well yes. It’s obvious that it massages through vibrations” said an even more confused Kara who was slightly offended that her sister would underestimate her ability to understand something so simple

“ No Little D what you sister means is that this is vibrator as in a dildo as in you know….” Maggie had finally managed to regain some control of herself and had decided to help her girlfriend before she had a nervous breakdown” You know for your lady needs?”

“Huh?’ asked an even more confused Kara

“Masturbation Kara, masturbation” said Maggie causing Alex to wince and try to suddenly develop the ability to teleport

“Oh” said Kara as it finally dawned on her and her mind flash backed to all the sexual harassment seminars she had CatCo. Mrs Grant had used them as punishments for all employees that annoyed” She must have thought I was propositioning her! Oh no do you think I offended Lena?

Kara fidgeted with her hands as she was horrified that she might have offended her dear friend

“More like fulfilled her dreams” murmured Maggie before she elbowed hard by Alex” I mean it’s not that big of a deal. You can probably laugh it off as a joke”

“What exactly did you tell Lena when you gave it to her?” seeing Maggie giggling at her phrasing Alex elbowed her again

“Well I said that I am sure she has some professionals that she can call but in the meantime she could use this to help herself” Kara said as she tried to recollect what she said

“You said what now?” asked a stunned Alex

“You know professional masseuses like the ones I hired for Miss Grant” clarified Kara

“Did…..did you clarify that you were talking about masseuses” asked a desperate Alex

“Well I thought it was obvious besides she didn’t really seem into masseuses anyway” Kara continued

“Oh god” said Alex as she pinched the bridge of her nose feeling the headache coming on” Did you say anything else”

“Well I said I could take care of her since I always had very flexible fingers” said Kara innocently. There was another thump as Maggie fell to the floor again biting her fist in an attempt to stop the uncontrollable laughter” Wait do you think she could have taken all of this sexually?  
“Yes Kara I believe so” said an exasperated Alex” Please tell me you didn’t say anything else”

“I didn’t say anything” said Kara firmly”…although I might have texted her that I was thinking of her and I am hoping she is putting her gift to good use”

“Oh … no” this was it. Alex was a dead woman. At Christmas Eliza was going to kill her. She had only five weeks left to live

“And I might have sent her a …kind of a nude picture of me?” said an awkward Kara

Alex slammed her head in the table hoping for the sweet release of a coma. But alas she only got a headache that was made worse by the ringing laughter of Maggie who had completely given up on trying to stand and the floor seemed to be her new home now

 

“Ouch ouch ouch” said Lena as she energetically rubbed her thigh. The garter belt had snapped and had hit her in a very sensitive place. She hoped to hell Kara was not into BDSM because Lena was really not into pain” I should have gone for the edible panties instead”

She was pretty sure that Kara was going to prefer them anyway but the Luthor in her was just too strong. When she had a choice between 10$ edible underwear and a sexy 1500$ dollar lingerie from Agent Provocateur…..she just couldn’t help herself. As a Luthor she just went for the most exclusive thing (which still somewhat resembled lingerie. The other options while even more expensive were a bit too much for her and for her nipples). Also she really didn’t want to get any candy inside her vagina

Looking at her apartment one could be forgiven for thinking it looked like the lair of a vampire. It was transformed with red silken sheets and decorations everywhere and a very liberal use of pillows, candles ,condoms, dental dams and various toys(all set in a tasteful way of course). Luckily for Lena one of the privileges of rich people was that they had access to people who could do anything. Including turning your apartment into something that looked like it should be a location on Eyes Wide Shut completely discreetly in less then two hours. The bed she was currently sitting on had an even bigger change as several parts of it had to actually be remodeled

Now Lena was trying to get prepared. Just because her apartment looked liked the set of a porn movie didn’t mean she actually knew what she was doing. Putting on her lingerie was tough enough now figuring out how everything worked and looking natural while she was using it was going to be a whole other thing.

While experimenting with one of her new acquisitions she heard the distinctive sound of an incoming text. She could feel her heart speeding up when she noticed it was from Kara.

“Can’t wait for tonight. I have something special for you xoxo”

Lena was taken out of her temporarily brain crash by the sound of something snapping

“Oh no” said Lena as she looked at the broken key and then her eyes widened in horror at the handcuff on her right hand …the one that happened to be attached to the new additions on her bed ” Oh for fuck’s sake can’t I get a break…”

 

Kara was awkwardly patting Alex on the head in comfort. Her sister seemed to be in a bad way as she was constantly muttering about how Eliza was going to kill her

“You know Little D I always thought you were on the innocent side but I never thought it was this bad. Have you never tried masturbating yourself?” asked a curious Maggie who had finally managed to regain enough control to seat herself at the table again

“Oh god no. I don’t want to hear this. Please kill me now” muttered Alex as tried to put her head through the table once gain

“Of course. I do it regularly but I don’t really understand what this” Kara said as she pointed to the vibrator” would have to do with it? Is it like incense?

Both Maggie and Alex froze as they looked upon Kara as one would upon a strange new animal you have never seen

“What?” asked a suddenly shy Kara

“Well it goes like this” said Maggie as she began graphically demonstrating with her fingers and piece of grapefruit. This causes Alex to once again wince in pain but it had a vastly different reaction on Kara

“Human mash their genitals with tools!?” asked an alarmed Kara 

“Well yeah. I mean you have to be in the mood as well and there are other methods like the good old shower head, the ever reliable fingers and…..”

“I think Kara got the picture Maggie” Alex said gritting her teeth and eyeing the exit door with a desperate need

“Well yeah I guess you do. Don’t Kryptonians do the same?” asked a curious Maggie. She had known quite a few aliens each with their own special twists on their sexuality but so far Kryptonians always seem to be just like humans. Maggie was insanely curious to finally get a glimpse of their true alien side

“With meditation of course” answered Kara as if it was the most obvious thing in the world

“Wha…what?” asked a baffled Alex

“So do you guys have sex just by staring at each other and meditating really hard?” asked a curious Maggie

“Of course no. Sex is about two people connecting so physical contact is natural and expected there but masturbation is about your own sexual energy. It’s your own body why would you need to touch it? The pleasure centers are in the brain. It just seems like a pointless waste of time” Kara continued as if this is the most obvious thing in the world

“So you can get off just by thinking about it? Holy shit…screw the flying I want this. No wonder you are so happy all the time” said Maggie with awe in her voice

“Alex… are you all right?” asked Kara in concern. Her sister hadn’t moved in a while now

“Yo…you said that meditation is about Rao. About your religion” said Alex in a near broken voice

“Yes one of the most important parts of being connected with Rao is about maintaining a balance in your life and a clear mind. And the best way to clear your mind is to transform the sexual energy that can be a distraction into something productive like pleasure”said Kara with her usual cheery grin

Alex had a pained expression on her face. Her mind was giving her vivid flashbacks to all the times she had seen Kara meditate including just three days ago when she went into a really deep mediation after they watched Maleficent. And just as a cherry on top her brain also reminded her of watching Astra meditate on the security feeds. Shakily Alex stood up and headed for the door

“Alex?” called a worried Kara

“I am going to work and I am hoping J’onn can erase all of this from my memory. Let’s never ever speak of this again” Alex slammed the door and was out

“It’s a healthy and natural thing Alex” shouted Kara only to hear Alex virtually sprinting down the stairs

“Well this turned out badly” said an awkward Kara. She never even suspected that such a little item could trigger so much drama. Humans were so weird about sex

“Speak for yourself. This was one of the best mornings of my life” grinned Maggie with the grin of a woman who knew she would have enough material to tease her girlfriend for life

After a quick goodbye with Maggie Kara took the skies to think about what just happened. Despite how calm she was (well in comparison to Alex) Kara’s emotions were running high and she was very disturbed. She was deeply embarrassed and ashamed of herself, not because of the accidental misunderstanding. Well not the reasons humans would think. Krypton had a vastly different attitude towards sex then Earth. With STD’s eradicated centuries ago and pregnancy replaced by artificial birthing chambers sex was not considered a taboo or something shameful and intense. It was just a physical expression of love and affection between two people that was considered as normal and natural as painting or dancing.

However while they were as sexually liberated as Daxam there was one big difference. Namely the attitude. While Daxamites were low class frat boys ready to hump anything that moves for Kryptonese people sex was a matter of respect and affection. And this was where the whole problem lay, the way she had accidentally propositioned Lena. By Krypton standards what she had done was horrible. An outright abomination. When one wanted to express physical affection for another in their culture it was considered the norm for this to be done with respect, care and preparation. The way Kara had said it by the way was how arrogant Kryptonese nobles would treat lower cast member or aliens as if they were nothing and sex with them would be just some way to pass the time. Even if she hadn’t meant to and even if she Lena herself isn’t aware of it she had humiliated and deeply insulted her friend and the guilt from this was eating at her. She had to fix it. Looking uncomfortably at the clock she knew that it was only a few hours away until she had to confront the terrible thing that she had done

Balancing her phone on her knee Lena closely followed the youtube video and at her fourth try she finally managed to pick the lock on her handcuffs. She pumped her fist in triumph and then slowly put it down in embarrassment. Luthors didn’t do this. But even her mother’s ghost voice in her brain couldn’t keep her good mood down. Picking those handcuffs had been kind of a turn for her. It not only gave her a valuable skill she would quite likely need in the future but also gave her a boost of confidence that she really needed it. This could work. She could do this. Looking around apartment in satisfaction and checking herself out in the mirror she knew she was ready. Now all that was left was to wait for Kara and her cheery and as she learned lately sexy mood and everything would be perfect. What could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just supposed to be a random one shot and look at what your ridiculously nice reviews made me do. I hope you are enjoying this chapter. I didn't exactly go in the direction most people expected but I thought I would try something different and write Kara as more alien. After all while sex is a very common topic in our popular media masturbation especially masturbation for women is a bit of a taboo and not many people talk about it. I could see Kara being utterly ignorant about this part of human culture


End file.
